• A man with glasses and a gray t-shirt, wearing a brown apron, taking a selfie in a workshop or studio. Behind him, a stained glass window with the word 'Café' written in reverse, various tools, and supplies are visible.

    Dan Lucero

    My cats breath smells like cat food.

  • A man wearing a bike helmet, sunglasses, and cycling gear is lying on the ground, smiling, on a grassy trail in a forested area with trees and mountains in the background.

    Dan Swinton

    Minister of disinformation, agent of chaos, wheel building savant, resident road dog.

  • A smiling woman in a yellow cycling jersey, wearing a white bike helmet and sunglasses, taking a selfie outdoors with her black, white, and tan dog on a rocky hillside under a clear blue sky.

    Jennie Stonesifer

    Inquisitor general, only adult in the room, has been mountain biking longer than you.

  • A plush mouse character with large ears and glasses holding a box of corn flakes cereal.

    Wef Wambold

    White v-neck enthusiast, Garfield memorabilia collector

  • Animated man wearing glasses and a cowboy hat, sitting in a beige car with one arm resting on the door, smiling.

    Mike Torrisi

    Editor of “Get Off my Lawn Quarterly”

    Misses his flip phone

  • Incredibly Handsome Man

    Quincy Jennings

    FNG, Chief Meteorologist, pop culture encyclopedia

Special Guest Stars

  • A white dog with curly fur and a serious expression peeks through a cutout in a wall, with a woman wearing glasses and a face mask in the background.

    Not a baby.

    Not named Dave.

    Not an Employee.

  • A man holding a glittery cup with the text "I'm the F*CKING birthday Girl" written on it, celebrating a birthday.

    Actually a Doctor.

    Actually named Dave.

    Special guest